Saturday, March 12, 2016

Dealing with Writer's Block

For a week, I’ve sat here staring at a chapter I haven’t looked at since 2011.  I’ve got notes all over it.  “Need to expand this.”  “What does this mean?”  “Move this somewhere else.” 

Expand to what?  What does that bit mean?  Move it where?

A whole goddamned week.  What is the deal here?

Today I’ve read the same sentence over and over and my brain has turned to guacamole.  Guacamole is mush.  Awful-tasting mush.  That being said, I’d really like some Mexican food tonight for dinner.  No, I have spaghetti to make…or I could just go to Wegman’s to get some Chinese.  Oooh, egg rolls.

FOCUS, dammit!  See what I mean?  Get back to the stupid chapter!

Sigh.  Okay, this isn’t that hard.  It’s only 6 pages, for cripe’s sake.  I flex my fingers, look out the window, and…oh, look, the bird feeder’s empty.  Is that pileated woodpecker back again?!  Hot damn, I need more peanuts down there!  Did I buy any today…?  Dammit, I didn’t get woodpecker nuts.  Nuts.  Do I have any more peanut M&Ms over there?

Shit.  There I go again.  

There are three things I need in order to get myself into what I call "The Zone."  The Zone is my place of motivation, the push-button combination to unlock the Swiss Bank Account vault that is my wealthy stash of imagination.  It is sometimes a bitch of a place to find, but I do know how to look for it.  I need these objects, and a little bit of luck.

1.     FOOD

I keep talking about food, so I must need a snack.  That’s one way to keep your mind motivated, people – feed it.  So excuse me while I go grab a nibble…

(minutes pass)

Okay, I’m back with a cup of hot tea (with lots of Jack Daniels, natch), and a bowl of grapes and tangerine sections.  (I don't have any more M&Ms, so let's settle for Healthy Eating.)  

Back to work.  (taps fingers on keyboard) Okay, we’ve got dragons in an alternate realm.  Dragons falling from the sky and becoming…ow, is this a seed in this tangerine?  (taps some more) 

Nothing.  I’ve got nothing.  But I do notice I’m tapping my fingers a lot.

2.     MUSIC

When you’re as easily distracted as I am, you need two things from the musical realm: 

An awesome set of headphones.  Mine are the wonderful Bose QuietComfort 15 AcousticNoise-Canceling variety, terrific for blotting out screaming neighbors, ringing telephones, and my husband's TV show, and allowing me to turn up my music to stratospheric heights without disturbing people on the West Coast.

A magnificent playlist.  Nothing to sing; all instrumental.  I can’t sing and type at the same time because I’ll type out all the song lyrics instead and King Arthur will be belting out “Y.M.C.A.” by the Village People and Rya will wonder what the fuck I’m smoking when I turn these chapters over to her to read.  
    The Knights of the Round Table can't be doing this...it would be hilarious though...

So for me, it’s soundtrack music.  Inspirational and awesome.  I have a 95-track list full of Hans Zimmer, John Williams, and John Barry – masters all, the jewels in my triple crown of imagination-filled tunes.  Oh, I have others, but nothing inspires quite like these guys. 

3.     QUIET.

No texting.  No phones.  I’m so easily diverted from the task at hand that the simple noise of a cat running down the hall with a toy will break me out of concentration and I’ll be left staring stupidly at the screen wondering what the hell I was trying to say.  Hence my side notes like “What does this mean?”  Fuck if I know…(hits delete button).  Knowing my luck I'll remember around midnight or 2am, but it'll be too late by then.

Sometimes, I enter The Zone without knowing about it, and my fingers develop a life of their own; 20 minutes later, I sit back and rub the ache out of my overheated, twisted digits, and stare at my cerebral vomit on the screen.  My response is always the same:  “Where the hell did that come from?” And unlike real vomit, the chunks are pure magic - at least they are in our little world.  

I really need to be there right now.  I’m fortified with natural sugar and enough alcohol to send my neural net tripping into the void, my headset is in place and switched on, Hans Zimmer’s score to “Inception” is cued.  “Need to expand this,” eh?  Fine.  One way ticket to The Zone, please, Maestro. 


--Rebecca


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